Brad & Heather's Journal

Sunday, August 13, 2006

12-step program

The more I think about it… the crazier it seems. Okay, I know I’m obsessive, but it’s become a bit obscene. I guess I should start at the beginning instead of in the middle…Here are things you need to know about me before I can tell you the thing I’ve been obsessing about.

  1. I grew up in Texas. If you grew up in Texas, you can skip down to number two because you know what I’m going to say. Girls and women in Texas are forever messed up. (I’m sorry, but it’s true. It’s not anti-Texan to say that.) Here’s what I mean. Under no circumstance are you supposed to sweat. You may glow. You may perspire, but not sweat. Under every circumstance you should be well-coiffed. That means… hair, make-up – all of it. Your clothes should be pressed, should match, should be slightly stylish, and should be dressier than you think you should be. I did this fairly well – until college. That takes us to number two.
  2. I spent my college days pretending to be a hippie. I say pretending only because I did not go to college in the 1960’s, so therefore, I can’t be an actual hippie. I was a vegan, I joined Greenpeace and PETA, I drove a tiny purple car with a big Grateful Dead sticker on the back. I only wore products by Skin Trip or some other sufficiently organic company. I hiked. I camped. I rock climbed. I mountain biked.
  3. After college, I threw myself into triathlons and working (bakery and library). So, again – not much use for anything other than a hairbrush, some sunscreen, a couple of bathing suits, a couple pairs of jeans, etc.

    Okay, now that you know my history, you must understand something else. My mother and my sister actually have style. I mean, they know how to apply eyeliner and that people with my skin and hair color shouldn’t wear light pink or brick red. They know about finishing creams for your hair. They know things…. I don’t. So, here’s the creepy part. I have mostly avoided knowing things by following these rules….I have a good hairdresser … I just check my sister’s lipstick color and buy the same for myself. I wander through her closet and borrow things at will. And, for the creepy part…. I’m sorry…. I think my entire closet is slowly morphing into a J. Crew store. I think I may be an addict. I mean, I have my reasons, but I sound defensive even to myself. I wonder if there is a support group for recovering J. Crew addicts – not that I am in any way recovering. Maybe I should start one. Although I suppose “That Ed Guy” probably likes J. Crew, so maybe I’ll have to rethink this. More later.


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